wrong spelling

i noticed.

due to much depression while i was writing my last post, that i misspelled the word friend with firend.
hmmmm. i have already said in my description on my profile that i am not fond of looking at the wrong spellings or typographical errors in my posts. for reasons that i am lazy

wakekeke

hmmm. i will be removing haloscan cause diwata can not comment. anyway, disregard the previous post, i have already kept in my mind that i am just some of those ordinary people who you would seldom take a second look at. (as i have staed in my previous post.)

hmmmm.

so these being said, i would return to my new kind of posting, less drama.

hehehe

hmmm. no more left to post. ammm.

(pahabol)

i am contented with "JUST" being the "FRIEND". at least i can always make her laugh and make things go lighter when everything seems to fall down. (as she told me)

but it would be very fulfilling if i had her.
(waaa. tama n nga drama diba...)

and she said "i love you as a firend.."

hey, i never imagine reaching my 95th post. but anyway that is of the main topic for this post's drama.
yes, DRAMA. i know i promised myself to stop this damn over rated dramas who nobody has the time to read. but i need to take this out of my system. i do not want this feeling to clutter up my mind. maybe, i think, that if i try to blurt it out to the public with minimal readers, it would somehow lessen the intensity.

so here we go, let's start.

(so no more diwata, no more butterfly pink addiction, no more partially stalking and no more girl who would change my world)

i opened and logged on to y.m and found her logged in. it was something new to me but the heck, i pmed her.

[insert start of conversation here]
(rather not share)

up to the point that i asked her...


so there it was, I LOVE YOU AS A FRIEND.. what every guy somehow dread about when he is pursuing one person of his dreams.

i immediately texted a colleague of mine and he replied

"bat ang saya mo pa ata (having texted him with "haha's". akala ko ba wag pansinin ang time. hirap talga no"

(somehow cut short)

hmmm. yes, i know it hard to move on. i keep on reminding myself every minute to keep in mind the worst. yes i am a pessimist, to avoid much disappointment, but still. it hurts.

hay.. she ws almost my everything

because of her i wanted to e the better, if not the best, man that i could be.

she was my stepping stone for me to become the man i want to be. she was my everything. tho problem is i am just a some one, not important enough to be always by her side.

she was my diwata, the one who would take me away from my misery with her wings, but i never thought she would just pass by, she did not stay.

hay... tama na. ill end it here for the mean time.

thanks for bearing with me.

i do not know what to do, having her say that i do not know if im to still pursue or let go of this feeling.

she was my greatest downfall, i loved her first and i was the only one who loved so much. it was never reciprocated.

(akala ko ba tama na)

(may naalala lang.)

a friend of mine once said, it so pathetic to give without asking for anything in return, somehow you are expecting something even just a little bit.

i guess she was right

kudos to jelai...