for many years

i have been blog hopping this past few days to catch up with some old bloggers i have known for months, even years, and to know some new bloggers who has been dominating the blog world.

its been many weeks since i posted and became active of the blog world. and i have seen many people develop friendship, gain enemies or even garnered awards. and with those many months that i have been spilling my mind out, i still can't over some facts that has been surrounding, somehow, my mind every time i visit the blog world

some of these things are so far impossible to recreate or to revive that it has given me the down feeling that i wanted to avoid. some were very happy memories that would never again happen. some are those people who made an impact to my life. and some are just those who gives me the satisfied feeling every time i pass their blog

hmmmm...

i really miss the old days where i was friends with them and they were there for me and such cheesiness and stuffs, but like what my friend told me. dont hold on, let go and move on.

i have made so much effort. i dont consider it wasted overtime but still... that's just that

i really hope i could go back to the past and redo those things, but unfortunately. i cant. too bad for me. errors have been made and thing may no longer go my way

palm top

its was way past my hours of stay in school and i was just killing time at the our org room. actually i was waiting for the reply of "DIWATA" with my question, "sabay ba tayo uwi?"

unfortunately i left my phone at home so i texted her using my colleague/baby sister/CG asst head/TQM coordinator/rain lover/... cellphone. but unfortunately she didn't reply immediately.

tjen the time came that my colleague/baby sister/CG asst head/TQM coordinator/rain lover/... was about to go home, but still there was no reply. so what i decided was that i will jutted done "DIWATA's" number on my palm instead.

i searched for my pen and didn't fpund any. i searched my colleague/baby sister/CG asst head/TQM coordinator/rain lover/... bag for a pen and found her 0.2 technical pen which i didn't use for the reason it has a very pointed edge. next i saw an ordinary pen. but before i could use it my colleague/baby sister/CG asst head/TQM coordinator/rain lover/... told me that it would hurt more if i used that pen o right in my palm because it has no ink. lastly i saw her purple jell pen (purple being her favorite color).

i used the said pen to write her number first. then i decided to include her nickname. o was enjoyings with what i was doing so i decided to include the word "DIWATA", the name i call her, then o also wrote her whole name including her middle name. after that i was still not yet satisfied so i wrote "DIWATA" again. finally i wrote her blogspot name.

hmmm. addicted? maybe but i just had nothing to do.

my colleague/baby sister/CG asst head/TQM coordinator/rain lover/... asked me why i still haven't memorized her number? now i can say i already do.

** parts of the picture was blurred out to protect her identity. mahirap na kasi...

random and the like

trough the help of my cousin and some news articles i read and watched on television, and with the help of our newly installed DSL from PLDT. i have watched some featured clips from YouTube.

featured clip 1 : This Is Why I'm Hot vs. Spngebob Squarepants





i liked this video because spongebob's mouth fits the timing of the song. this was pinpointed out to me by my cousin.



featured clip 2 : The Pinoy Preso Dancing different songs





this video was shown even on other countries. they did these clips to gather donations for the inmates.


In addition, i have updated my multiply site >ikabudjack<
updated my friendster site >rudolf zeus<
and my deviantart has 1 added deviation due to boredom (not that great though) >DeviantArt<

almost 2 and a half weeks of death

Friday last last week (Aug. 3)
no classes as declared by dep ed and by ched, registration for the local elections

Saturday last last week (Aug. 4)
no classes as declared by the local administration of U.S.T. for the extension of registration of students

Sunday last week (Aug. 5)
no classes because its rest day for everyone. but there was a general assembly for the manila chapter of the organization of ECE's (IECEP)

Monday last week (Aug. 6)
no classes for Engineering students of the University of Santo Tomas

Tuesday last week (Aug. 7)
no classes from 7am-1pm due to some meeting. our class is up to 2 pm. but our prof decided to cancel the class

Wednesday last week (Aug. 8)
no classes due to 2 reasons
1. Feast of Saint Dominic
2. Heavy rains causing flood

Thursday last week (Aug. 9)
no classes due to heavy rain fall

Friday last week (Aug. 10)
no classes due to heavy rain fall

Saturdays last week (Aug. 11)
YEHEY. classes. we were told of the scope of the prelims for the next week.

during these whole span of time we were given amply time to finish our project due the prelims week the following week. YEY!

Sunday to Monday this week (Aug. 12-13)
no classes

Tuesday this week (Aug. 14)
first day of Prelims (i did not study much so i think ill fail)

Wednesday-Thursday this week(Aug. 15-16)
no classes because of EGAY

this gave me much more time to finish the said project. goody goody for me

Friday (Aug. 17)
supposed to be passing of project but still no classes

Saturday (today)
still no classes


i dont know if im going to be in a happy mood or am i to be bothered by these no classes days. but i think its still a plus factor. i finished my 54 pages project in that span of time so i think its still a blessing for me. it also gave me more time to study. i dot feel like studying and i rather play WORLD OF WARCRAFT under a private server.

anyway. its a good thing that last tuesday (Aug. 14) i saw "DIWATA" and accompanied her to the church i even accompanied her going home. hmmm (sounds wrong grammar) anyway. i am happy ad at the same time bothered.

sana may load sya

after some time....

strips courtesy of www.explosm.net

i don't know. i just liked these strips. its so....

on the lighter side of things

visit my friendster profile. it is updated. added more photos

hmmm. what more?

well

all i can say is

ako ay nandirito laman
nag aantay upang ikaw ay lumapit
nag aantay sa diwata upng dumapo sa aking puso
nag aantay upang aking pagalingin ang puso mo
lagay ng band aid at betadine ang sugat na dinadala
upang agarang pag hilom ang iong madama
imortante ka na para sa nilalang na ako
kaya kayang mag antay kahit na kontra ang mga tao
madaming nagkakandarapa ngunit sakin ay balewala
dahil hindi importante kung maibalik mo man
basta ako gagawin ko lahat para ikaw ay sumaya
dahil ang saya sayong labi, dampi ng kaligayahan
nag papagaan ng aking buhay na iaalay ko sayo lamang

damn. so cheesy. hope she does read this

hehe

anyway

thanks...

alone

she is there

but i cant reach her

i can see her barely

but its too dark

i can feel her

but only in my dreams

seems to close

but in reality she is far away

coincedence or plain copycat

"plain me and nothing more..."

"nothing more, nothing less... maybe..?"

two different headers from two different blogs.
somehow they were of the same thought, just elaborations in between.

the first one was created June 13, 2007 and the second one was created on June 24, 2007.

you can see in the second blog that the name of the first blogger was made in to a poem. but the second blog told me that he made that blog because he just had to. he wanted the world to read what is in his mind but he is not to publish his blog much to be read by all. confusing? it really is.

it is obvious that the guy likes the girl who in fact is also the one i like. (the reason why i'm blogging this)

and in addition. you can see that the song iris was posted on the first blog on June 30, 2007. days after the second blog featured the same song on July 3, 2007. which in fact, once more, my favorite song. i'm not riding the same band wagon, i obviously liked the song since i was high school and was even the theme song between me and my x girlfriend.

enough of the bitterness, the guy is my friend and he obviously will be reading this soon, well maybe. and for that reason i am adding to this post that i am not that bitter, i was just annoyed of the band wagon ridding.

the question is are you really to like everything that is liked upon by the one you like?(huh?) i mean do you really need to mirror everything that is being done by that person you admire?

in addition, i am not the only one who had noticed this. my friend also noticed the same band wagon ridding.

bye bye butterfly?

there it was

a butterfly

with wings full of life

passing every flower full of delight


there she was

once passed my way

once stayed in my palm

it was just once

it was not that long

it was cherished


now she's gone

now her presence is no more

now

there is nothing

now

where is to where am i to go



hold on

or let go


(damn you. its your fault, but who am i to hold possession? she was never mine)

damn you

one world you have none

maybe

just maybe

i was positive for a time

but now i realized

it was not to the right one

maybe


maybe im right

maybe its

good bye

her name was xyla

i was in an exotic place, full of long ebony black hair and goddess faces. it was paradise. i need to explore, i need to experience first hand the beauty that is of such exotic wonders.


i trekked the place of wonders. down the edge of a mountain going to the plain. upon reaching the cleavage of the two enormous mountains, i kissed the land. it was spectacular, the place was enchanting, the top of the mountains gave a faint glow of lightness enough to take your breathe away.

i journeyed the planes until reaching the desert of white snow. the sand was fine and so smooth, not a hint of coarseness, i saw a pit, so clean, not so deep, but it was enchanting. the ground seem to move a little as i played with the pit, it was no oasis but damn it was more to my pleasure to have been there.

i then continued the trail i was journeying. i remembered one local who told me i have not visited there sacred place with out visiting the canyons right after the jungle. so i i tried my best to reach the said sacred ground.

i have reached the jungle, smell of the crass growing gave a little ecstasy. the trees above showed little light from the moon. it was night, yes it was night, just like what i have heard, it best to see the wonder and feel the pleasure at night. i continued my journey, a little pause on the way but give a little thrill to my journey.

now i continue my walk, with a grin on my face.

i arrived at the spot that gives much happiness, there it was, the canyon. such beauty, such pleasure as i saw it. it gave my body a tingle and made me stand erect to see more of what it has to offer. the locals say i need to taste to spring of ecstasy and penetrate the caves below the canyon.

i went down and dived myself in the spring of ecstasy, such pure pleasure. now i am to enter the caves of virginity, as the locals call it. i stood up, readied myself and plunge my whole self in. it was the best, like indulging my self in everything good. and at the last minute, as i was about to give out my best "awwww" i encountered nirvana.

it was the best experience for me.

and as i returned to the main town of silk long hair, i asked, what was the name of the place

she told me it was xyla.

para sanyo

hay...

bakit ganun. ginawa ko na ang lahat ng magagawa ko

pero pilit paring akong inilalayo ng mga taong iyong

buong puso ko ng hiningi ang kanilang paumahin. kanilang patawad

nagpakumbaba

pinakita ang sinseridad.

pero bakit ganun?

bakit ganun at sadyang ayaw nila ako bigyan ng pagkakataon

inamin ko na mali ang ginawa ko

pilit ko ng ginawa ang lahat pero aun

wala ayaw nila makipag usap

ayoko lang kasi ng me kaaway o me galit skain kaya mag papakumbaba ako para naman mapatawad ako.

pero ayaw nila.

lalo tuloy akong nalalayo sa kasabayan ko

ewan

naghahanap lng nmn ng kaibigan.

patawad na kasi

sorry na parang awa na. ano pa ba ang gusto nyong gawin ko?

ano pa ang gusto nyong gawin ko para mapatawad nyo ko

gagawin k na lah ng makakaya ko

para sa iyo

sisisihin ko ba ang sarili ko sa iyong pag kawala?

sisisihin ko ba ang sarili kaya kaw ay nag tatago sa tao

hindi

dahil una sa lahat ako ay hinamon mo

ngayon kinagat ko ang hamon mo, kaw ang natatakot

kaw ang nag tatago saakin

ayos na ang lahat

pero bakitbiglang nag bago?

isa ka bang superhero?

hirap mong intindihin

isa ka ngang babae

ang hirap abutin

ano ba dapat kong gawin?

ngayon inaantabayanan ng lahat ang iyong pag babalik

ano ang aking kalalagyan

ang gulo

ang gulo

ang gulo

basta ikaw na ang bahala sa lahat

kung ano gusto mo duon na lang ako

pero

pero

pero

paliwanagan mo naman ako

missin you

i miss you

do you miss me

you heart is so empty

let me fill it up

but seems your not yet ready




no single medicine can cure all ailments
just like i can't fill your heart at all

pls vote for my friend BULITAS
http://www.bulitasin.blogspot.com/
in the candy blog awards

just go to

www.candymag.com/blogawards/finalists

all you need to do is register for free, confirm your email address and presto you can now vote

just look for the category at the best use of photography category and vote for

BULITAS SHOTS

thank you

by the way, vote every 30 minutes, for more votes. thanks again

tapos na birthday ko

wala lng

nung 14

pero wala kang bati

pero ok lng

nakita ko ang picture mo, masaya

happy graduation ngayon

ano pa ba?

ganda ng pic message mo

happy belated birthday

sabi ko nga taken ka na e
sa mga importanteng tao sa buhay mo

sabi ko nga in a relationship ka na e
sabi ko nga madami akong kaagaw sayo e

pero ang bilis naman

pero baka matagal na rin

nagmumukha na lang pala akong tanga

pero hindi pa naman ako sumusuko

d ko parin kaya e

sabi ko nga taken ka na e
sabi ko nga in a relationship ka e
pero kaya ko namang mag antay sayo

kaya ko namang mag antay ng panahon na iyon
yung panahong pansinin mo ulit ako at bigyan ng konting atensyon

ganon ka na kaimportante sakin e
ganon na ako tinamaan sayo e

andito ka o, sa puso at isip ko

pilit ko paring ginagawa ang mga bagay
gusto talga kita e, at hindi pa ako handa bumitiw

oo nga pala


belated happy birthday isang masayang belated happy birthday isang masigabong pag bati ng belated happy birthday


belated kasi alam ko ayw mo gaano binibigyang pansin ang mga importantesng bagay sa buhay mo.
tinext nmn kita nung araw na iyon e.

dapat me ibibigay ako kaso hindi ko natapos agad
siguro to follow na lang
hindi ko kasi nakuha yung mga kailangan ko

kaya iyong si yanyan na lang muna ang maibibigay ko

katanungan, kalimawan, iniirog asan ka

isa na lang ba ako sa nahumaling sa takbo ng kanyang isip
isa na lang ba akong ala alang kinalimutan at pilit na lalayuan
isa na lang ba ako sa mga taong humanga ngunit pinagbawalan na ng tadhana
isa na lang ba akong haharap sa mundo hindi ka kasama?
isa na lang ba akong tanga na pilit na nag hahabol at ginagawa ang lahat para lang muli kang makausap man lang

isang saglit lang na makita ang iyong mukha
isang sandali lang na marinig ang iyong boses
isang mensahe lang na magpapatunog sa aking selpon
isang bagay lang, makakapag pasaya na sakin ito

isang bagay na lang ang hinihiling ko sa ngayon,
isang simpleng bagay
isang simpleng pakakaibigan na lang
isang simpleng atensyon

na mag mumula sa iisang ikaw


ano pa ba ang aking magagawa
ano pa ba ang dapt kong sabihin
ano pa ang dapat kong patunayan?
ano pa ba ang dapat kong kalagyan
ano pa ba ang dapat kong ibigay

saan ba kita makikita
saan ba ako pupunta
saan ako pupwesto
saan ba talaga ang daan patungo muli sayo
saan ang daan papunta sa puso mo

kailan darating ang araw na akoy muling bibiyayaan ng pansin
kailan darating na ako ay iyong muling papansinin
kailan darating ang araw na ako ay iyong mapapgbigyan
kailan darating ang panahon n ako ay susuko

hindi pa ako handang bumitiw
hindi pa panahon
hindi pa tapos ang lahat
hindi pa ako handang sumuko
hindi pa panahon upang bitawan ka

ngunit paano kung ikaw ang lumalayo
ngunit paano kung ikaw ang nagtatago
ngunit paano kung ikaw ang umiiwas

saan ako lulugar
ano ang gagawiin
hindi pa ako handa sumuko

hindi pa dahil hindi pa kita napapasaya, hindi pa ako sumasaya ng sa kadahilanang ikaw ay masaya


(post note: sino kaya ang mysteryosong lalake sa profile mo?)

isang malaking kamalian

hindi mo dapat nagawang mag madali
hindi mo dapat ninamamadali ang mga bagay bagay
inuunti unti ang mga importanteng bagay
nagmamakaawa ako sayo dyosa, ako ay iyong pakinggan
nagkamali ng desisyon, nagmadali
ako ay bigyan pa ng pagkakataon
maaga pa para ako ay sumuko
maaga pa para ako ay bumitaw
alam kong pakikipag kabigan lang ang maiaalay mo
matatanggap ko yun, wag mo lang ako layuan

ano na ngayon ang aking magagawa?
gusto ko hingin ang tulong ng mga kinauukulan
gusto ko ako ay tulungan
sana ako ay muli nyang pansinin
kaso sino ang hihingan ko ng tulong, sino?

hmmm....

hindi pa ako handang sumuko..!

andito ako ngaun, nalulungkot at nagmumukmok sa kanto,
ng makilala kita nawala ang mga iniisip kong problema, ngaung lumalayo ka na, unti unting bumabalik ang mga bagay na nagpapapababa sakin
hindi ko ginusto ang ginawa ko, natanga lang ako at di ko alam ang gagawin ko.
hindi ko pa alam ang dapat kong gawin dahil kung sakali ikaw ang unang babaeng magiging kabiyak ko. sana hindi pa huli ang panahon

hindi pa kita mahal, dahil wala pa akong sapat na rason upang ibigin ka,
ngunit sapat ng gusto kita para ipakita sayo na importante ka para sakin

at ngaung lumalayo ka na,
pano ko pa ipapaktia ang importansyang iyon.

pero sabihin mo lang na itigil ko na ang pag bibigay ng bagay na ito ay ititigil ko, makukuntento sa pakikipag kaibigan wag ka lang mawala

nakatitig n lang ako sa bukas na browser ng pc ko nakatuong nag address sa isang blogsite kung saan may babaeng blak and wyt. ito lang ang natatangin litratong aking mapapagmasdan.
isang litratong naka bilog ang babaeng mukhang nakangiti. may nakalimbag sa ibaba nitong 6 na letra.
sabi nya

"she's cold and she's cruel but she knows what she's doing"

nang mainlab si zeus

XIENAH
(ayan pinalitan ko na po)

hindi kita gagwing trial version ng bago kong blog

lingid sa iyong kaalaman, baliktad ang istilong naisip ko

gagawin ko ang blog na yun dahil susubukan kong mang ligaw sa isang tao gamit ang blog


trivia sa tungkol sakin

1. torpe ako
2. mahina ako sa babae
3. paranoid ako
4. insecure ako
5. takot ako makipag sabayan sa mga tao (kung me nang liligaw na iba either titigil ako o d ko n sisimulan)
6. takot ako sa mga nurse, kasi iiwan lang nila ako, pupunta sila sa states


ayun
pero ewan, gusto ko kalimutan ang mga sinabi kong yan
ika nga ng isang tao n nag ngangalang irish

N-urses are U-sually R-eserved for S-uccessful E-ngineer

kaya dapat maging succesful ako
at
nabasa ko sa isang lugar ang salitang "MAS"
sana isa akong "MAS"
wakeke...

dag dag na trivia sakin

7. hopeless romantic ako
8. apaka sweet ko
9. seloso ako
10. pag nagmahal malalim
11. yakap at halik ang ultimate kaligayahan ko
12. matipid ako mag regalo, resourceful ako, kung makakgawa ng sariling regalo mas ok, special na matipid pa
13. galante ako sa mahal ko, pero minsan lang kasi wala akong pera, poor lang kami
14. mahina ako harap harapan, matapang ako sa text at sa chat at sa telepono, pag tumagal sa personal na
15. i like red, means passion
16. medyo mapili sa pag kain

at marami pang iba


iba na talga ang inlab

"sana nag sisimula sa letrang Y ang love"

(bahala n kau igets, hehe)

kayo ay mag antay

dahil ako ay nagiisip ng bagong istilo ng pagsusulat sa blog na ito

iiwan ko na rin siguro ang pangalang zord

zeus n siguro

gagawa ng bagong listahan ng links

at aun

gagwa ng mga paraaan para maging iba

watch out for

"MANG LILIGAW"
"Nang maging korni ng dahil sa pag ibig"
"by Zeus"

gagwin ko ito dahil me gusto akong gawin para makagawa ng paraan sa aking mga balak balak

nakakasawa na kasi ang puro emo, gawa muna tayo kakornihan. pero d maiiwasan ang emo, dun mag sisimula ang lahat

antabayanan na lang...

i have made a right wrong and a wrong right

i did what should be done

i told what should have been told, but i should have kept quiet

im happy for there is no more pain, but i cause pain in the process

i told the error done but telling it meant worse

i was in the middle of a no escape situation

if i tell, my faith is doomed, if i didn't, i would still die

i dont know where to place myself

i dont know what to do

i just spilled out what is needed to be known

now everything was taken away from me

i did what was right, i told the wrong done

but in turn i lose friends, friends i truly cherish

now im all alone...

now i have no one to run to

yes i have friends but they won't understand

my fear is loosing friends, but it seems im the one doing things to push them away.

i still continue on testing them and on the way, i give them a reason to leave me

now. little by little...

one by one

they all are leaving

and im afraid to be left all alone.