Thursday, November 01, 2007

it is time

i need to

but i don't know how to

i have realized, but somehow its too late.many have been avoiding me, trying to create distance after a long run of pure unadulterated trust

but why? is it because that when they already know me they see the real me and see that i am a mother fucking asshole, bastard. not worthy of their friendship? their trust.

believe me i have been wanting to change, for the better, for my own sake, but i have failed numerous countless number of times. i am about to give up

but i should not. i should not give up. i know the efforts of some few chosen should not go to waste. they have given too much patience to me to help me. but honestly i really don not know how

they have told me that i should not rely my decision of changing on other peoples effort, what if they are to leave me,if they are to go, where am i to get the backbone? this ma be the reason for my return, return to the old me.

i hate it. i hate who i am right now. many have come and go and few stayed. and i am sick and tired of it. i have to break the this continuity. i hope i can. i hope i will not be all start with no finish with this thought. i really want to change. its for me. its for the best.

please teach me how.


by the way. i made a layout for a friend. please visit her link and comment on my tag board on what you think about the layout i made

she is jennifer elaine